


That One Time Ryan Got Poison Oak

by She_comes_to_me_when_I_dream



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Ryden - Fandom, rydon - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Panic! at the Disco - Freeform, Ryden, Rydon, ryden fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 10:15:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5924680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/She_comes_to_me_when_I_dream/pseuds/She_comes_to_me_when_I_dream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan accidentally jumps into a patch of poison oak while weeding his yard. Brendon treats him. Ryden. Fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That One Time Ryan Got Poison Oak

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not anyone and this fic is not real. It never happened.

"Ryan, why are you covered in poison oak?"

"I don't want to hear shit from you Bren just help me wash it off." Ryan snapped. He didn't mean to but he was so uncomfortable and Brendon was just staring at him and the stray leaves stuck on his clothes. "Fuck, it itches like hell."

"Don't scratch it." Brendon warning stopped Ryan just before he could dig his nails into one of his reddened arms.

If looks could kill, well, the face Ryan made at him would have done it. He was so miserably itchy.

"You can't scratch it. It makes it spread. Mom would practically have to tie our hands behind our backs when we were kids to get us to leave our skin alone while she was washing it off when we got it-"

"Brendon, can you please just help me get it off?!" Ryan interrupted impatiently. He wanted to claw every inch of skin on his body.

Brendon shook his head at his boyfriend. "Come on."

Ryan followed him into the kitchen, ranting and raving. "This is why I should have hired a landscaper! The one time I try to weed my over grown yard I jump in the moat and it is full of poison oak! And don't let Dottie into the moat if you walk her. I don't want a vet trip on top of this." The "moat" was the sloped in area of hard packed ground under the bridge that led up to Ryan's front door that often gathered the most weeds.

Brendon bent down and dug around in one of the lower cabinets until he found a garbage bag and opened it up. "Take your clothes off and put them in here and for shit's sake don't touch me with them."

Ryan was soon standing stark naked on the tile floor with arms and some of his shoulders and chest a red, angry mess. Brendon held the garbage bag open in front of him and Ryan carefully dropped his garments in, stray leaves and all.

"You’re gonna want to wash these later." Brendon said as he sealed the bag and stowed it in a place where Ryan's dog wouldn't get into it. "Do you happen to have any of that hipster tea of yours?" Brendon couldn't help but smirk at Ryan crookedly.

"I only drink it when I can't sleep. It's in the fucking cabinet above the microwave." Ryan answered him, still on the defensive.

Brendon grabbed it from the specified cabinet and pulled a large handful of bags out of the box then put it back. After that, he checked the storage drawer for a new dish sponge and was rewarded with a bright pink one. "Come on lobster man."

He turned on his heel, his smirk even bigger, and headed toward Ryan's bathroom. Ryan followed wordlessly. He was so fed up with today and his skin was making him want to jump out of it. 

"I can't believe you jumped into poison oak Ry. Didn't you look before you went down there?" Ryan didn't even respond as Brendon closed the door behind them and went straight to Ryan's under sink cabinet for alcohol and latex gloves. "Go stand in the tub." He pulled the gloves over his hands and sat the sponge, the tea bags, and the alcohol on the counter by the sink. 

Brendon popped the alcohol bottle cap a moment later and drenched the sponge in it over the sink. He then walked over to Ryan. "This is probably gonna sting but it will stop it from spreading."

"Fuck." Ryan hissed as his boyfriend began lathering his bright red, sore skin with rubbing alcohol. To add insult to injury, Brendon just kept adding more alcohol until it was dripping off of Ryan. It was like he didn't even notice the way Ryan was wincing and cursing under his breath. This continued for a good five minutes and by the time Brendon finally stopped with the alcohol Ryan was sure his skin was going to start peeling off.

"Out of the tub." Brendon ordered and Ryan stepped away. "Now you get a tea bath." Brendon removed his gloves and discarded them and the sponge into a plastic grocery bag used for trash that Ryan kept under the sink. He closed the cabinet, blocked the bath drain, and began running the cold tap as hot water would irritate the rash.

"Poor Ryan." Brendon kissed him on the cheek. "I guess you'll be more careful gardening though."

"I'm hiring a landscaper." Ryan huffed.

They watched the tub fill and then they watched it get darker and darker after Brendon dropped in twelve or so tea bags.

When it had "steeped" long enough, Ryan sank down into it. "Fuck me. I am taking a bath in tea. Fuck my life."

"Yep and you get to stay in there for twenty minutes." Brendon grinned at him and even in this shitty situation Ryan couldn't help but be taken aback by his boyfriend's smile. 

"Then I'm gonna put baking soda on you and put you to bed kiddo."

"I'm a year older than you Bren." Ryan reminded pointedly.

"You jumped into poison oak Ryan. I'm gonna call you kiddo."

Ryan stuck his tongue out. "Can I at least watch Netflix in bed?"

"If you don't complain while I am coating you in baking soda, then we might watch Netflix."

"I'd like to see you try to stop me." Ryan shot back.

"I could leave you all alone with your rash." Brendon shrugged, a stupid half smile on his face. "That's more like it." He approved when Ryan stayed quiet.

Ryan rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

"I love you Ryan. I even love your attitude."

****

Fifteen minutes later and Brendon was adding the towel to Ryan's contaminated bag of clothes and running it to his laundry room and throwing it in the sink while Ryan waited for him on his bed in his underwear. Brendon closed the laundry room door and quickly went back to the kitchen and mixed up a paste of water and baking soda.

Dottie trailed him all the way to Ryan's bedroom and was not pleased when Brendon shut the door on her. "Oh Dot. I promise you can come in after Ryan gets his baking soda spa treatment. I don't want you licking the bowl."

Brendon went over to the bed and sat down with the bowl of white paste. He began globbing the cold mixture over the worst of Ryan's rash which was on his arms. He rubbed it almost all the way in to the still highly irritated skin of Ryan's arms before moving on to Ryan's upper chest and shoulders.

"Don't start purring on me Ry." Brendon had moved behind Ryan and was practically massaging his shoulders with the baking soda salve and Ryan could feel his boyfriend's stupid, cocky expression.

"You know what you're fucking doing Bren."

"I'm not doing anything." Brendon countered innocently. But then Ryan felt him nip his ear. "Ah, ah. There will be none of that. You are in no condition." Brendon scolded when Ryan shivered the slightest bit.

"I'm finished anyway." Brendon announced. He began toweling the excess white off of his boyfriend and then his hands.

He got up, bowl coated in white residue and towel in his hands, and let a very happy Dottie in who was now finally able to stop scratching at the door. He made his way back to the kitchen and dropped both items into the sink. When he returned to Ryan he grabbed a cotton v-neck t-shirt from the dresser across from the bed.

"Put that on." Brendon handed it to his boyfriend who pulled it over his head as Brendon once again joined him on the bed. Brendon couldn't help but kiss Ryan again. Ryan's hair was ruffled ridiculously.

Brendon grabbed the remotes from the nightstand. "Come on Dot." He called and Dottie leapt on to the foot of the bed as he queued up Netflix. "And you come over here too." He pulled Ryan, whose itching was finally starting to subside a little, against him.

Ryan felt stupidly tired as he snuggled against his boyfriend. He was never pulling weeds again.


End file.
